I had a dream last night. It's odd that I can remember pretty much the whole thing, and since the dream was so strange I figure I'd post it.

The dream starts off with me at my house. My parents are sleeping upstairs, and my brothers are in the basement. The doorbell rings and I go to answer it. It's these 2 guys and a girl, about college-aged. They walk inside (uninvited) and start looking around the house. I was confused. What the hell is going on? So I ask them.

They reveal to me that my house (or perhaps my address) was featured in a just-released Cormac McCarthy book. I kick them out. 

At this point I realize that there are more people waiting outside. I go to close the garage door so nobody else tries to come in. For some reason, every time I push the garage door button it starts to close then goes back up. Turns out some guy in the corner kept putting his foot under the door just before it closes, preventing it from closing due to some safety feature.

I confront the guy, push him, he hits his head on a car and falls to the ground. My father comes out and asks what's going on. I tell him nothing.

At this point I either forgot what happens next or my dream decides to fast-forward a bit.

I pick up back at my house, garage door is closed this time. Doorbell rings again. I open the door and it's Oprah Winfrey. She comes inside and starts walking around the house. Of course I didn't kick her out cause it's fucking Oprah Winfrey. 

She walks down to the basement. At this point, she points out the amount of animals running around, mostly young kittens. The odd and horrifying thing is, the kittens were having babies. They were these little monstrosities that, as soon as they realized you were there, would run and hide under the nearest desk, couch, or whatever.

Oprah, my brothers, and I walk back upstairs after petting the cats for a little while. We walk to the front door and she asks us to stand next to each other for a picture. At this point, the conspiracy theory section of my mind turns on and I start thinking that she'll use these pictures to make us look bad. So I decline. I also decline having any video of us or our house. I think this was a mistake.

We go back inside and I start telling my brothers to get those animals out of our basement. I walk to the back of the house because I heard something growling and see 3 hyenas under a blanket headed towards the house.

Now, in my house at the back we have these 2 large, sliding glass doors. In my dream, one of the doors seems to have gotten loose and was simply lying against the frame. With the hyenas running at me at full speed I had to do something, so I grabbed the door and tried to place it back in the frame. This turns out to be far more trouble than I realized.

I start yelling for my brothers to come help. They both run upstairs (for some reason I had the thought that they somehow completed their task of clearing out the animals), one of them helps me with the frame while the other runs to the garage. My brother and I get the frame in place, and my other brother opens the garage and does something to get the hyena's attention, which draws them away from us. Problem solved.

Then I hear a voice, "So you outsmarted our hyenas, eh?" says some guy behind the glass doors. He and a bunch of others come out from hiding. One of them has a shovel and starts hitting the glass door. The funny thing is, the glass door is still not correctly placed in it's frame. If they simply pulled on the door it would fall back out. But they were hitting against it, so they didn't realize it.

I go to the house phone and pick it up to dial. I hear the guy says "Go ahead and try, we are the police and that won't work!" I pick up my cell phone and he says "We're jamming cell signals too!" That's when it hits me that all of the men behind the glass door are wearing cop uniforms. Somehow, cops are after us. Dirty cops. And they'll stop at nothing to get to us.

I realize at this point that there's no way to fend them off. I call to my brothers. The one who opened the garage to distract the hyenas was there next to me. The other, however, had ran downstairs after helping me with the frame. I look at the glass doors and see that they'd gotten inside. 

As I scream my brother's name to run upstairs so we could make a run for it, I wake up.

So what did I learn from this dream? Don't piss off Oprah Winfrey. My theory is that declining to help Oprah forced her hand. She called her local cop friends and told them I must be taken care of. Hence, the dirty cops and hyenas. Perhaps the hyenas were in blankets so as to hide them from the public?

As for the Cormac McCarthy using my house in his book bit, I suspect there's a bit of Alan Wake to this. Perhaps the story after finding out about my house being in his latest book IS the story of the book itself. That is, the book is about a family in a house that has to deal with loose animals, dirty cops, and Oprah Winfrey.

Or maybe I'm just going insane.

Bara